bex-chan:

the book nearest to me only has 44 pages, so that must mean my sex life will be nonexistent
omfg this is accurate guys

“Next time I’ll send your nose or one of your ears flying.”
I shit you not. 
I can’t make that up.

bex-chan:

the book nearest to me only has 44 pages, so that must mean my sex life will be nonexistent

omfg this is accurate guys

“Next time I’ll send your nose or one of your ears flying.”

I shit you not. 

I can’t make that up.

(Source: loveclaire)

  1. please-onemoremiracle reblogged this from detectivedannie and added:
    “It smelled of stale air and shoe leather and my grandfather’s slighlty sour colohne.” Wait, are they calling me old?! I...
  2. slenderendermen reblogged this from geromytime and added:
    “a) Explain what Jon said to Garfield in the last panel” At least I’m better that the guy above
  3. endreal reblogged this from runningwithboltcutters and added:
    None of them suffered from Franklin’s deep-seated reservations nor were they reluctant to expose themselves to the...
  4. songdoll reblogged this from incendiaryshogun and added:
    “Short division is a method of dividing a number by a one-digit divisor.” ….Okay then.
  5. lemonylimes reblogged this from titsandwings and added:
    He’s roostin in a tree at last camp. Well fuck. God help me.
  6. unwalrustitled reblogged this from dooleysqueen and added:
    “In Molde, people worry about the distance between the seed potatoes.” Wtf is that supposed to mean?..
  7. tehfanglyfish reblogged this from antichristpandas and added:
    “Some Egyptians may have practiced brother-sister marriages, but evidence for this is sparse.” Thankfully, I don’t...
  8. mirthfulmanof reblogged this from geromytime and added:
    While thunderstorms and tornadoes are short-lived and cover a relatively small area, a hurricane or winter storm can...
  9. flouriteoctet reblogged this from annanocturnal and added:
    “We never bought anything without improving it.” :3
  10. hankhilllaughingalonewithpropane reblogged this from deathclaw and added:
    Out of control. (Identical by Ellen Hopkins)
  11. runningwithboltcutters reblogged this from geromytime and added:
    From the outside, Freud seemed in complete control.
  12. la-terca-brit reblogged this from geromytime and added:
    Problem Sleuth’s cliff notes: She is the girl of his dreams because he literally dreamed that he was her for a while....
  13. nastyanalfruitsalad reblogged this from basstrip and added:
    What had just passed; what Mrs Reed had said concerning me to Mr Broclehurst; the whole tenor of their conversation, was...
  14. secrettaconinja reblogged this from tragossospricht and added:
    the sentence was shit but the page I’m reading actually is page 45 LIKE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA
  15. ghoulkill reblogged this from lostinadreamingstate and added:
    “Pushed him away, seized it with gloves on, carried it quickly to the fire and burnt it.” LOLOLOL omg.(The complete...
  16. brofessorjory reblogged this from risallah and added:
    “Neither’s Pal” It’s...Grandma’s crossword books
  17. random-fandom-man reblogged this from geromytime and added:
    “Riders did not control so much as work in concert with them.”
  18. imeatinfundipnotgivinafuck reblogged this from risallah and added:
    I instruct myself, give her a little taste of what she wants to hear. Ok……
  19. airholy reblogged this from dooleysqueen and added:
    “Come south with me, and I’ll teach you how to laugh again” A song of Ice and Fire. Not sure what to think…
  20. m1ss-e reblogged this from annanocturnal and added:
    “Someone else enters the room, and when I look up I’m surprised to see it’s the baker.” oh……
  21. risallah reblogged this from dooleysqueen and added:
    “Study page 131 to 142 of the textbook, and answer the following questions”. Ok.
  22. shenaeemma2 reblogged this from cutiepye
  23. potterwhovian reblogged this from pushingusintoselfdestruction and added:
    Peeta’s a bakers son.
  24. lambser5 reblogged this from ohdeadwizardgod and added:
    The external revolution. Okaaay
  25. ohdeadwizardgod reblogged this from loserlikelittleoldme and added:
    “disappointingly bad, woefully weak or inadequate, feeble, MEAGRE, PALTRY” …Yeah, this is scarily accurate. Even the...
  26. dooleysqueen reblogged this from beaautifulbreakdown and added:
    “It was filled not only with the French and Spanish of all classes who had formed in part its Peculiar aristocracy, but...
  27. batizio reblogged this from thatcaseyykid and added:
    “Hand to God, I don’t know where Johnny is. You gotta Believe me on that.”
  28. caligulasboots reblogged this from incendiaryshogun and added:
    ” Most of today’s organizations have information technology specialists who use quantitative techniques to solve complex...
  29. cutiepye reblogged this from dontyoublogmebaby and added:
    Stay where you are or she dies at once! Dammit and here I was hoping for progress this year xD
  30. thisisloonylovegood reblogged this from dontyoublogmebaby and added:
    Splatters on the flat back end looked like dried egg. Awesome.
  31. unicornpoopy reblogged this from dontyoublogmebaby and added:
    Brad wouldn’t even let Patrick hold him, which seems rather sad to me because if I have sex with someone, I would want...
  32. the-dandy-highwayman reblogged this from dontyoublogmebaby and added:
    “Brixton Mystery” as they termed
  33. youvebeen-sherlocked reblogged this from dontyoublogmebaby and added:
    “Yup.” well then
  34. thatcaseyykid reblogged this from lostground and added:
    ‘Then trust mine,’ said Gandalf. ‘It is quite made up. Go away and leave it behind. Stop possessing it. Give it to...
  35. p0cket-lint reblogged this from audreyfaithfangsup and added:
    me Play the game, I instruct myself, give her a little taste of what she wants to hear. lol guise..
  36. dontyoublogmebaby reblogged this from loserlikelittleoldme and added:
    A windswept and bleak terrain HA. CLASSIC ELLEN.
  37. loserlikelittleoldme reblogged this from sh0re-line and added:
    “Where does it go and why is it so hard?” … oh god.
  38. antichristpandas reblogged this from sh0re-line and added:
    Alfred Hitchcock- stories...lights on. ’ he gave...a look ”...
  39. sh0re-line reblogged this from fannyscratch and added:
    Lauren stood up to an eruption of encouraging screams from the opposite embankment….. okay so i have an audience.